Running With the Foghorn Leghorn

Sunday, November 1, 2015

In some respects, this may be partially the case with me this year.

yarr-i-dont.jpg


I guess technically foreshadowing is when you hint at things to come. The above would technically be known as "a spolier" I guess.

So here is how we line this race up:

1. No ride Friday
2. Reasonably solid MTB ride Saturday
3. Sleep has been decent
4. Ate a fair amount Saturday
5. Have not drank in months
6. No oatmeal for breakfast (too gummy/slow)
7. Standard bagel/cc meal before the race around 11:00
8. Whatever number of coffees
9. About 30 minutes of on course warm-up

I think I know this is not going to be a redux of HPCX#2 as soon as I climb the first hill out of the start chute on the warm-up. My legs hurt, and I think that maybe I went too hard the day before. @UtahJoe says it was easy pace but his bike literally weights about 60% of what mine does. The ride wasn't a hammer tossing affair but it was not a popsicle eating affair either. Regardless, it is Sunday and my legs are more tight than they should be. The course seems fun when you ride it slow.

I am in the front row to start the race, which is always funny to me as these wafer-thin humans surround me. It is sort of like a reverse bodyguard scenario where 10 beefy guys surround 1 thin actor. Here we have 22 thin guys surrounding the 1 beefy bodyguard. No matter what happens at the end of the race I always need to take solace in the fact that if CrossResults ranked us in order of how we *look* like we'll finish, I would always be last.

Whistle goes off and I surge fast but cannot clip in right away. I square this away soon enough and settle in 5th or so. Then 6th, 7th, and so on until we get to the top of the hill. Then we go back & forth, some dick bag who was dressed up totally dives a corner and I am close to running him off the course. Then we all mostly settle in as we come down the hill and around the sketchy turn past the pit a second time.

Here Utah catches me and we have a conversation:

Utah: Oh there you are, I'm just going to follow you now
Me: Okey dokey
Utah: Actually I'm going to try and catch those guys
Me: Okey dokey

And Utah is gone. We then get to the sand and chaos ensues and I need to get off the bike. I get back on and ride the beach then at the end Myles runs into something and eats shit and knocks me off my bike. From there I go back & forth with a few people until I catch up to Ben Williams at some point on lap 2. My legs are not wonderful. But I have enough to pass him. Ben is not a cross racer but he's strong enough so I take this as a good sign. We go up top to the washboard crap then on the way down around the tricky turn I eat shit pretty good and Ben and some other guys pass me back.

Then I pretty much settle in and work to catch the 2 guys that passed me. Eventually I do and I make them both stick, and Ben & Brian Kelly are up ahead battling and I am in the middle of freaking nowhere playing freaking hopscotch with myself. I didn't think I would be able to get Ben back but with the 2 of them battling they push each other and I fall further and further behind. The guys behind me are out of sight as are the guys ahead. I ride the last 2 laps just trying to keep my head in the game.

Aside from the 2 crashes and the 1 sand mishap, I totally miss the course tape 2 different times. My head is not remotely in the game, I am making bad turns, I am skidding when I overshoot stuff, I am a mess out there. Much like Horatio McCallister in the image above, I don't know what I'm doing.

When it comes down to it I think I'm just done. My legs were good for HPCX#2 and I think that was all they were willing to give. After that, they wanted to go home. I can try and come up with any number of excuses as to why I don't think I did so well but what would the point be? I think the most disappointing thing about the race today is that I clearly have no f'ing idea how to show up on race day and have my legs give all that they can. If I show up and give 100% and come in 13th, well ok fine. But when there are guys in the top 10 that I know I should be racing, I just wonder what I'm doing out there. All these years and I seem to not be able to bring my A game like ever. Literally like once every 15 races my legs seem to be on point. The vast majority of the time I am not firing on all cylinders. I think this may have always been the case in the past. I think I train far better than I race. I think I have been underperforming in races for years.

Cross Results has a post-mortem feature where it re-predicts you based on who showed on race day. I was not aware of this until last week so now I can say that with the 23 people who showed up, I was supposed to come in 11th with 2 people not known. Those 2 were Utah & Ben Williams. Given that they are pros in the MTB class I can't be disappointed that I did not beat them. So in the end, as much as CR sucks it had me exactly where I ended up. CR can still suck it.

I will race the last 2 NJ races but I'm not training for this shit anymore. If I show up drunk and ride through ALL THE TAPE then so be it, that's what I'll do. In the words of @seanrunnette: Fuck you cyclocross.
 
Yes, I hit the "like" button, though perhaps "like" isn't exactly the word I'd prefer.

I will say this: I'm quite sure that race-day consistency is an outgrowth of life consistency and routine. I've never been a very gifted athlete, apart from having a natural tendency toward being lean. But I learned as a high school athlete that tons of repetition and routine put me in a place wherein I've had the best chance of reproducing whatever my current level of training will allow.

So, this cross season, literally every pre-race ride has been the same, my race-day routine is pretty much the same thing every time, and the structure of the weeks doesn't vary much. The only race this season where that hasn't held true was HPCX #2, which came on the heels of HPCX #1, which was followed by a 7 hour wedding. And it was the worst "on-form" ride I've had this year.

And we say it regularly, but it bears repeating; Nobody at the pointy end of Masters races in either series is kidding around. These guys train hard, they eat right, and they know how to race. I dropped my chain on the first lap Sunday and went from 8th to 28th in the blink of an eye.
 
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Sunday, November 1, 2015

In some respects, this may be partially the case with me this year.

yarr-i-dont.jpg


I guess technically foreshadowing is when you hint at things to come. The above would technically be known as "a spolier" I guess.

So here is how we line this race up:

1. No ride Friday
2. Reasonably solid MTB ride Saturday
3. Sleep has been decent
4. Ate a fair amount Saturday
5. Have not drank in months
6. No oatmeal for breakfast (too gummy/slow)
7. Standard bagel/cc meal before the race around 11:00
8. Whatever number of coffees
9. About 30 minutes of on course warm-up

I think I know this is not going to be a redux of HPCX#2 as soon as I climb the first hill out of the start chute on the warm-up. My legs hurt, and I think that maybe I went too hard the day before. @UtahJoe says it was easy pace but his bike literally weights about 60% of what mine does. The ride wasn't a hammer tossing affair but it was not a popsicle eating affair either. Regardless, it is Sunday and my legs are more tight than they should be. The course seems fun when you ride it slow.

I am in the front row to start the race, which is always funny to me as these wafer-thin humans surround me. It is sort of like a reverse bodyguard scenario where 10 beefy guys surround 1 thin actor. Here we have 22 thin guys surrounding the 1 beefy bodyguard. No matter what happens at the end of the race I always need to take solace in the fact that if CrossResults ranked us in order of how we *look* like we'll finish, I would always be last.

Whistle goes off and I surge fast but cannot clip in right away. I square this away soon enough and settle in 5th or so. Then 6th, 7th, and so on until we get to the top of the hill. Then we go back & forth, some dick bag who was dressed up totally dives a corner and I am close to running him off the course. Then we all mostly settle in as we come down the hill and around the sketchy turn past the pit a second time.

Here Utah catches me and we have a conversation:

Utah: Oh there you are, I'm just going to follow you now
Me: Okey dokey
Utah: Actually I'm going to try and catch those guys
Me: Okey dokey

And Utah is gone. We then get to the sand and chaos ensues and I need to get off the bike. I get back on and ride the beach then at the end Myles runs into something and eats shit and knocks me off my bike. From there I go back & forth with a few people until I catch up to Ben Williams at some point on lap 2. My legs are not wonderful. But I have enough to pass him. Ben is not a cross racer but he's strong enough so I take this as a good sign. We go up top to the washboard crap then on the way down around the tricky turn I eat shit pretty good and Ben and some other guys pass me back.

Then I pretty much settle in and work to catch the 2 guys that passed me. Eventually I do and I make them both stick, and Ben & Brian Kelly are up ahead battling and I am in the middle of freaking nowhere playing freaking hopscotch with myself. I didn't think I would be able to get Ben back but with the 2 of them battling they push each other and I fall further and further behind. The guys behind me are out of sight as are the guys ahead. I ride the last 2 laps just trying to keep my head in the game.

Aside from the 2 crashes and the 1 sand mishap, I totally miss the course tape 2 different times. My head is not remotely in the game, I am making bad turns, I am skidding when I overshoot stuff, I am a mess out there. Much like Horatio McCallister in the image above, I don't know what I'm doing.

When it comes down to it I think I'm just done. My legs were good for HPCX#2 and I think that was all they were willing to give. After that, they wanted to go home. I can try and come up with any number of excuses as to why I don't think I did so well but what would the point be? I think the most disappointing thing about the race today is that I clearly have no f'ing idea how to show up on race day and have my legs give all that they can. If I show up and give 100% and come in 13th, well ok fine. But when there are guys in the top 10 that I know I should be racing, I just wonder what I'm doing out there. All these years and I seem to not be able to bring my A game like ever. Literally like once every 15 races my legs seem to be on point. The vast majority of the time I am not firing on all cylinders. I think this may have always been the case in the past. I think I train far better than I race. I think I have been underperforming in races for years.

Cross Results has a post-mortem feature where it re-predicts you based on who showed on race day. I was not aware of this until last week so now I can say that with the 23 people who showed up, I was supposed to come in 11th with 2 people not known. Those 2 were Utah & Ben Williams. Given that they are pros in the MTB class I can't be disappointed that I did not beat them. So in the end, as much as CR sucks it had me exactly where I ended up. CR can still suck it.

I will race the last 2 NJ races but I'm not training for this shit anymore. If I show up drunk and ride through ALL THE TAPE then so be it, that's what I'll do. In the words of @seanrunnette: Fuck you cyclocross.
 
Sorry to read about and hear/feel the frustration.
That said, if you end the season with your statement:i.e.
". If I show up drunk and ride through ALL THE TAPE then so be it,"

I'd come out to cheer you on for sure. Maybe even buy the beer.
 
I think you did the experiment before but I am not sure what the outcome was but reading the last fee race installs makes it sound like you aren't getting much out of the racing.

Did you ever think about being the head of the team and not riding "publicly" anymore? You see this on the skate and Bmx side more when the older guys become a company owner, filmer or something and still ride/skate, but they don't do video parts or contests (races) anymore? I am not sure you are there yet, just throwing it out there.
 
Sorry to read about and hear/feel the frustration.
That said, if you end the season with your statement:i.e.
". If I show up drunk and ride through ALL THE TAPE then so be it,"

I'd come out to cheer you on for sure. Maybe even buy the beer.
Holy shit! @ArmyOfNone was around for two weeks and now you, is thei like a legends of Mtbnj series or something?
 
I do this alot.. I used to do it with Pearl... Catch up and have this desire to just hang out with my teamates... But then I remember it is in my lucrative, long term contract to beat as many other riders as possible.

It's late in the year and you had an off day, not surprising.

You obviously know my routine... When I dont set my week up the way im accustomed to, my high end usually suffers. Sometimes as in the 3rd short track race, its a massive difference. Didn't you set up what I do based on what you used to do? Just do that 🙂
 
Sorry about the crash Norm. Warm up laps in the sand no problems, then in the race I was all over the place. I think I had just passed you on the beach and I looked over to check I was clear, that must have been enough to throw me my line. Next thing I hit the metal post and I was down and had to run up the hill in last place. Ended up 14th but the gap to you stayed the same. Guess it would have been close if I hadn't F'd up...
 
To Blog, Or Not To Blog

@stb222 makes the suggestion, maybe I shouldn't blog anymore. Like I should just be, and not write about it. Well, I think you know that's not really my style. I guess the first thought is that I like to write, and this is an outlet to that. I suppose I could write a book but that sounds so arduous. And honestly it allows me to throw it all out there and be done with it. So I was a bit frustrated and I wanted to smash something. Being that I'll be Reggie Jackson Years Old this year, maybe the time of my life when I smash shit is over. So I use words to vent some days.

Second point: it's content. We can always use content and over the years people have said to me that they identify with some of the things I write. I can say for sure that at the very least, 1 of the readers here was feeling that post yesterday. You're not alone, Frustrated Cross Racer. Since nobody manages to keep a blog going forever, I'll keep this flame burning on some small level.

So I let it out and I'm done with it. And I deliver content. And I'm also hopeful that the writing, and being open, keeps me on track to a point. And you know, phoenix and the ashes and shit. That'll be my autobiography title: Phoenix Ashes and Shit.

I'm pretty open about everything in my life with the exception of the divorce. As much as that topic is one holy hell of a source of material, I have hesitated to say anything about it out of respect to the crazy mother of my child. Wait, I didn't just say that did I? I digress.

Is a Routine Really a Rut with a Nicer Name?

@ChrisG talks about routine. I've had a routine in years past, but this year I have not. I was never sure if it really did anything but maybe this is something I need to question/experiment with again. The past 2 years I didn't do anything special either but I wasn't racing as much nor was I super serious about much of anything. Hell, the second day of a double I pretty much lined up hungover for every one of them over the past 2-3 years.

There are 2 parts to the routine. The first is the week of workouts leading up to the race. The second is the time between when you wake up and when you line up. These are things I admittedly need to think about again. I also admit that I am happy that Chris chimed in with an opinion on this. I was hoping he would.

I will also throw this out there. In the past 4 weeks I have lost roughly 6 pounds. I'm sure this is not the best way to set me up to race. I know...I know. But I have long raced in contrast to "the rules" so maybe this is a hangover to that. You can take the rulebook and stick it where the sun don't shine. But, ok, maybe I will cede that this is part of the problem. At the end of the day, I will admit that the racing is helping me get to where I need to be and in theory, next year I have a better shot at starting the season where I need to be in terms of fitness base and weight.

Is It Fun?

To @mattybfat - is it fun? Sunday was not fun. Did not much love anything about the day. I blame this on me, however. The scale looks good this week, I am alive, I can wake up and make fun of Jim Plunket, and I rode my bike today.

So screw it. Things could sure be worse. First world problems, we all know this.

Monday, November 2, 2015

Took the road bike out for an hour and change. Then we watched TV at night.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Part 1: @Kirt picked me up and we met @UtahJoe at the BSA to flag out the new ST loop.

Part 2: Rode almost to CR then went to turn my light on and it was dead. So I turned around and went home. I took that as a sign that it just wasn't meant to be. So it goes. Now watching TV.

12190902_10207297376328657_3263178579338067066_n.jpg
 
note that I didn't say to stop blogging and I reread my post to make sure I didn't but maybe it was the riding publicly comment. I was talking about not racing. Seems like it has been a solid 3 years that racing has not seemed to bring you much. Maybe you need something to something to focus on and racing is that focus. i feel like I wrote this post before.
 
two things:
1) i saw "bill's friend" last night and he said that the pace was crazy. granted, he's a tri guy on a old ass bike but he's got lungs. you guys killed him so yeah, maybe your friendly pace was a bit too hot.
2) i think your body is revolting against you because you're not drinking beer.
saCBC.jpg
 
I always need to take solace in the fact that if CrossResults ranked us in order of how we *look* like we'll finish, I would always be last.
This is my favorite thought from your recap of Bubblecross.
The idea of CrossResults based on how you look is hysterical to me, although it hits really close to home.

I was assessing the competitors at the start of the Bubble W Elite race, as there were many unfamiliar faces. Usually, I know who almost everyone is, even if I don't know them personally. (I do my fair share of CrossResults race predictor pre-stalking) But there were lots of wildcards/unknowns at Bubble. LDag and I were sizing up the women and she says something like "oh who's that girl over there? she has like a foreign language on her kit, so I bet she's fast." Mind you, this is LDag who has the mind (and legs) of a very fierce competitor.

I feel particularly subject to this phenomenon at the start line of big races in different regions (like Providence) - where I know nobody, the kits are unfamiliar and everyone looks PRO and FAST. I know I need to not do this, but I still do.
 
This is my favorite thought from your recap of Bubblecross.
The idea of CrossResults based on how you look is hysterical to me, although it hits really close to home.
I like to size people up at the line by trying to figure out how serious they are.

Jokes, fart noises, talk about hating bikes and questions about what 'normal hobbies' are like.

Ability to laugh and joke doesn't really correlate to speed at all but it definitely helps you figure out who's worth hanging out with after!
 
Yes, I hit the "like" button, though perhaps "like" isn't exactly the word I'd prefer.

I will say this: I'm quite sure that race-day consistency is an outgrowth of life consistency and routine. I've never been a very gifted athlete, apart from having a natural tendency toward being lean. But I learned as a high school athlete that tons of repetition and routine put me in a place wherein I've had the best chance of reproducing whatever my current level of training will allow.

So, this cross season, literally every pre-race ride has been the same, my race-day routine is pretty much the same thing every time, and the structure of the weeks doesn't vary much. The only race this season where that hasn't held true was HPCX #2, which came on the heels of HPCX #1, which was followed by a 7 hour wedding. And it was the worst "on-form" ride I've had this year.

And we say it regularly, but it bears repeating; Nobody at the pointy end of Masters races in either series is kidding around. These guys train hard, they eat right, and they know how to race. I dropped my chain on the first lap Sunday and went from 8th to 28th in the blink of an eye.

Wtf dude. Your writing and delivery is on point. Thumbs up @ChrisG
 
Second point: it's content. We can always use content and over the years people have said to me that they identify with some of the things I write. I can say for sure that at the very least, 1 of the readers here was feeling that post yesterday. You're not alone, Frustrated Cross Racer. Since nobody manages to keep a blog going forever, I'll keep this flame burning on some small level.

Feeling this post? Indeed I am. Everything you described resonates 1000% with me. The hardest hitting sentiment (and most infuriating) being shitty results knowing you are better than the effort you put out.

I really appreciate the transparency of you content and direct delivery. In that spirit I want to share my own.

My cyclocross season has been abomination of epic proportions. I have not had a single race this season where felt even 85% as strong as I have in training earlier in the season (and even that was only on 2 occassions) and have been in steady decline. I casually voiced this to @pearl early in the season but kept telling myself I'm not worried believing the ship would right itself. The power is up. My weight is in check. Numbers don't lie, or do they? While they certainly don't tell the whole story, I can't formulate a hypothesis on how coming into this season, my power across all metrics is up, my weight is the same as last season and yet come race day my legs won't put it together for 45 minutes (or bother show up at all).

You complimented me on my persistence early in the year and I never thought about it until that day. I have always had it in my mind (and believed with 100% certainty) that that breakout performance was just around the corner. I absolutely know that I have more in the tank than I have been able to put out on race day. That thought is what keeps (or kept) me moving forward and whole heartedly believing that 'the next one' would be the one where it all comes together. By the numbers, however, I am a terrible cyclocross racer. Still as I look at the field I believe I am (at the very least) just as strong as most just not when it matters. Maybe I've just been delusional, I mean you are what your results say you are right?

At this point I've done something I have never done in the time that I've been doing this and decided to just mailed it in. I'm completely exhausted both mentally and physically. I'm stressed, putting weight back on, and look like shit. Showing up and consistently underperforming, being disgusted during and after the race, then training angrily to rinse and repeat. I mean what's the point? In that spirit, I decided last week to put the Garmin away and get back to riding for the fun of riding.
 
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Louis, My heart goes out to you. I'm already talking to you as I write this, but others need to read this as well.

In my opinion, this Cat 4 to Cat 3 jump is faster than you thought. You have the legs, juice, and confidence to go really fast. You have had amazing starts the past couple of races. I see it. The problem I think you are having is what I experienced when I jumped from Cat 2 to Cat 1 MTB. The speed and skills at that speed are lightyears different. It's documented on here and I know I've mentioned it plenty of times. I remember being lapped by the leader in the Pro race at KVSP and I couldn't imagine how anyone could ride faster than I was currently riding. I'm still nowhere near the local pro level, but after 2-3 years of racing in Cat 1, my vision and skills developed along the way.

Many people say that it's just another lap or just another 15 minutes, but it's more than that. Everything is different at another MPH faster. How do people ride Jungle faster than I do? I mean, how much faster can you really go? I thought the same thing at Bubble, how can people go faster up this dirt climb? How are the turning any faster than I can? I'm awesome at turning.

Heres some prespective, I did my first Cat 3 race in 2012. It feels like it was yesterday. Look how long it has been. 40 races of cat 2/3/4 and cat 3 races. You cannot judge what other seasoned Cat 3 racers are doing against your first year in a upgraded category. Even though this isn't you first cross race, it is completely different. I mean, how many Cat 2 races have you done before you finally "got the grasp" of it? Remember that recap? You were in control, you were confident, etc etc. It took time.

If you want to, you will get better. Your legs are already better, but your skills and vision also need to adapt. Some people are blessed with good legs (roadies) and some people are blessed with good skills (Utahs first ride at Jungle is still faster than first lap of last years course, ugh). We just need to work harder. Working harder isn't always fun (the intervals part) but the skills and speed part, that is fun.

About the mailing in part, I have circled this upcoming Sunday on my calendar ever since the calendar was released. I don't want to dig too deep into my personal story (6 days) but I'm certain you have been on the grind since January, like me. It isn't easy. I am completely drained as well. We need time to rest. I recall some of my Strava rides a couple of weeks ago, counting down from 20 days. It makes me sad to hear that you are completely off the wagon with 1 week to go. I understand though.

I see a Wissahickon or White Clay trip happening soon. I hope you will be with us.
 
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