Spring Silence: Uncoiling the Fat Dragon

Intresting:

Norms clipping make there way to the atlantic

Marine life on entire eastern seaboard is affected as a result

Similar to an oil spill, the fishing industry is hit especially hard since fisherman cannot sell "tainted" product but this is worse since fish explode when clippings are ingested.

Fishing companies from Maine to Miami protest and start riots in cities.

The combination of the fur and fish guts darken the color of the water and water temps rise by 20* causing massive hurricanes in the atlantic.

Cat 8 (yes, category fucking 8!) hurricanes destroy every city within 30 miles of the coast. Florida detaches from mainland and is completely underwater.

Riots ensue in Northeast due to loss of virtually everyones elders that lost their lives in sunken Florida. Whats left of Brooklyn is a hotbed of activity since 99% of jewish people over 55 have moved to florida.

Stock market collapses. George Bush overrects and fire Nukes from Texas ranch. Nukes malfunction and take out western seaboard.

All that is left is the midwest. The world (US is the only ones that matters) ends under the reign of the bible belt.

Done.

damn it Norm! now look what you've gone and done... what do you have against old people in Florida?
 
the world is (allegedly) coming to an end the day before our first ever race and you shaving your legs is still big news? WTF man?

Actually, May 21 is the day of Rapture (the taking up into heaven of God's elect people).

Then there's a 5-month period of suffering for us sinners before the world actually ends.

So it's totally appropriate to begin that suffering with a 6 hour MTB race!
 
Actually, May 21 is the day of Rapture (the taking up into heaven of God's elect people).

Then there's a 5-month period of suffering for us sinners before the world actually ends.

So it's totally appropriate to begin that suffering with a 6 hour MTB race!

If I get the big call on May 21, can I get a refund on my race registration fee? For my heirs of course.
 
Actually, May 21 is the day of Rapture (the taking up into heaven of God's elect people).

Then there's a 5-month period of suffering for us sinners before the world actually ends

yeah, i know that but for the sake of brevity i didn't go into it. besides, the earthquakes and stuff are supposed to start here (in NJ) between 6P and dusk. they are (again, allegedly) starting at the international date line and moving from there.

a positive could be that this geothermal activity dries out the stewart trails.

a sure negative is the whole norm's hair bush hitting the wrong button US run by the flyover states thing that kev outlined.
 
Perhaps it will all even out in the end. Just in case, I'm bringing my baseball bat and roaming the course on Sunday.

The stakes just got raised on the open men's class. Tonight the update should be on the confirmed rider list. Let's just say that everyone can add 1 to their expected finish place.
 
Floyd Landis!? Shit I am going to be away!

I have some embro for you to try. Now that its summer you can try this:
warmweather_2.jpg
keep em shaved!
 
Oh yes you can embrocate anytime!

From Mad Alchemy
"Our basic warm weather embrocation is a simple, crisp, non-warming muscle rub with mint and eucalyptus essential oils. The Grapeseed, Soybean, and beeswax base nourishes your skin while protecting it from the rigors of cycling. Grapeseed oil works particularly well in preventing the premature breakdown of the epithelial cell membranes helping to maintain skin integrity. This formula is made with cool spearmint and the natural bug repelling properties of eucalyptus. This emollient is perfect for summer road and mountain biking. "
 
It's really to make your shaven legs nice & shiny and aromatic, thus distracting other racers.
 
Protects from the rigors of cycling? Bit of a stretch on that one...

But you must prevent the premature breakdown of the epithelial cell membranes helping to maintain skin integrity!

epithelial cell membrane breakdown is serious business.
 
The stakes just got raised on the open men's class. Tonight the update should be on the confirmed rider list. Let's just say that everyone can add 1 to their expected finish place.

But I've already been registered since day #1 😉

-Jim.
 
Unless you meant Monte:popcorn:

Dangit. I wonder if there's something more useful I can do that day instead😀

-Jim.
 
Nice... I can't wait to se the first lap on this one - you've got plain old fast, stupid strong and just really friggin good. Foco, Vreeland and Montalbano you pick the tags.
 
Oh yes you can embrocate anytime!

From Mad Alchemy
"Our basic warm weather embrocation is a simple, crisp, non-warming muscle rub with mint and eucalyptus essential oils. The Grapeseed, Soybean, and beeswax base nourishes your skin while protecting it from the rigors of cycling. Grapeseed oil works particularly well in preventing the premature breakdown of the epithelial cell membranes helping to maintain skin integrity. This formula is made with cool spearmint and the natural bug repelling properties of eucalyptus. This emollient is perfect for summer road and mountain biking. "

I want that on a sandwich.
 
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