The Traveller's Guide to Surviving Minnesota for a Full Day
Initial note: (From the Internetz, "Travelling is the preferred spelling in British English. Traveling is the preferred spelling in American English. Whether you're talking about travelled or traveled or traveller or traveler, these same preferences still apply.")
5:54am: Wake up before the alarm. I am tired, won't lie. Was up too late last night because of the data issues. I scrape myself out of bed and take a quick shower & go.
6:15am: Walking out of the room, I go to the free breakfast area and there is nothing there. I go down to the desk and the woman has no idea that there's no breakfast, and is clueless. The guy running the restaurant says the person didn't come to work but he'll hook me up. I sit down and eat a yogurt and fruit, which seems reasonable. As mentioned yesterday, it is free bagel day and of course there's the Jimmy John's for lunch. The coffee is passable which is the important point, at least right now.
6:45am: In the new Command Center for the day. The room is meant for 4-5 people, and we are 9 when the first call starts at 7:00. This is the next in an endless series of "do we go live?" discussions. Yesterday we did a 1:00 call then a 3:00 call, and they decided that the data was not acceptable for a go-live. So this morning, same deal, 7am comes and goes and 45 minutes later they are not ok with the data and need to push again. While this is not my functionality (mine is all passed, I am just sitting here eating grapes & mutton), I am the guy here representing. So in a sense I am fronting this ship as it floats towards the iceberg. We are going to regroup, come up with a plan, and then have another call later.
Oh yeah, the guy in charge of the data is not available until 9:00am. And the CIO is showing up at 8:45. Math.
8:30am: So the way I predicted this day would go is as follows. I told my boss this last night, that they would scrap the 8:00 go-live and in the end, decide that the data was good enough for a 1:00 go-live. As I sit in this room it gets to the verge of breaking down entirely which I think from 10k feet is not a bad thing. I think they will come back from the ledge shortly but we are at that ledge right now. Our PM is here today, which is definitely in the "tits on a bull" category but it is what it is. She is wavering between starting blankly into space like an idiot savant and walking around the room looking for people to push in front of busses.
8:50am: The CIO walks into the room with bagels. He says it feels like expectant & nervous energy. We tell him it's actually just too hot. I give them a rundown on where we are, they seem content, and leave. We eat bagels. Actually bagel bites, which in Minnesota means "bagels cut into quarters".
10:20am: I eat exactly one-fourth of one of these stupid danishes (should it be Danish?) and holy cow it is good. Must resist eating the whole plate. I only have an hour of Zwift in me tonight which won't erase an entire day of eating unhealthy-yet-mediocre food.
My boss sends me a link and asks if I want to apply for
this job. I say sure. He asks for a resume and I laugh. If I were to get this position, which I won't, my boss and I would be peers.
12:05pm: We move into a room with about 10 times the area, which is not an exaggeration. As we walk out of the mini room I realize how hot it had gotten in there. We eat Jimmy John's for lunch and as I sit here a few hours later it was so unremarkable that I do not remember what I ate. My cookie reputation precedes me, as I end up with 3 different cookies on my plate. While we eat we do the call for the next go live, and one guy is pushing really, really hard against it. He is clearly afraid and he has the same mindset of someone who does nothing all semester and the night before the final, decides that it should be moved a month. I make a comment that if we push it a month, this whole routine will play out exactly the same way in a month. The project sponsor agrees, and makes a comment about kicking the can down the road. There is a bit of a standoff here against Afraid-of-Technology Man and the Project Sponsor.
I only ate 1 cookie.
12:50pm: The vote. Against all odds, one of the Managers jumps in first and says "We should go live!" The woman who is the primary user/driver of the day-to-day work agrees. Eventually they agree to 3:00. But when we try to get everyone to agree, they hem & haw and almost nobody wants to be the one to say yes, yes we will go. Frustrating. We are still up in the air.
1:47pm: The Product Sponsor says we are going live at 3. End of story. Fuck it, we're going. No more votes.
I check in for my flight home. The rest of the afternoon passes with almost no note. By 3:00 the vast majority of these techs are gone or hiding in the basement getting stoned. So this is a fairly tame event. It's almost like we lined up on 4th & 1 at the 1 yard line, and the defense just laid down.
5:15pm: I am done. I am done on so many levels. I announce that I need to leave the room after 10.5 hours of war. There are only 3 people left at this point and this marks the end of the day. The 2 people left offer to go out to dinner but I defer, because a) I have been with them all day and b) I need to hit the gym and c) I need to work more tonight. So as much as I would be open to leaving this immediate vicinity, my evening is kinda lined up for me already. I would prefer not to stay up until midnight again tonight. So I call it and bow out.
Back to the hotel, change, hit the gym, round out my 2 hours of exercise for the trip, then head over to the pool. But instead of the pool, I jump in the hot tub. I get out of the hot tub and walk around to get towels, then walk around the pool a few times just sort of wasting time. Sometimes these trips turn into an exercise in wasting time until something of use happens. Today that is the case. Each time you go on the road, the expression "something of use" is defined in a new way. This trip, it pretty much breaks down to trying to get, then keep, this lead balloon off the ground. The Zwift experiment is also something of note and the food is a very minor one. Everything else is filler.
This is not really a trip to Minneapolis, even though it technically is. This is a trip to Americana, with a Minneapolis lean. My last trip to Chicago was the same, mostly. Spending time in the city is one thing. Spending time where the people live, the normal people, this is the Americana on the outskirts of the city. That's what this is. In terms of getting much out of the actual city, Oklahoma City & St. Louis were far better trips in that regard. But this is driven a lot of times by work. This is the nature of the Go Live. You are there to punch this ball across the goal line. As such, it removes my freedom to spend much time in the city exploring.
Hotel Gyms & Clothes
Here is my process for dealing with this:
1. Jump in pool if possible. If not, shower fully clothed.
2. Showering with the clothes on only goes so far, as the smell will remain as they dry. The chlorine in the pool masks the stank better
3. After you get done, wrap them up in towels like this for about an hour:
4. Then hang them above the AC vent, and turn the climate control fan to ON:
7:00pm: Back in the room, somehow I am a tad behind today even though I started the day over 5 hours ahead of yesterday. Put on the radio and touch base with a few work people then shower & get ready to go back out for dinner. As "eclectic" as the World Market is, nothing is really drawing me back tonight. The coffee was eh. The dessert shop was closed. The food was fine but at its core, food court level. I take a look at the house menu and quickly decide that I am going to stay in the hotel for dinner.
Dinner is Cobb Salad.
Dessert is chocolate lava cake. When I order it, he says, "It comes with ice cream, is that ok?" What planet is this guy from?
This meal was perfect. Exactly what I needed. Dessert was so dense, it was kinda over the top. But whatever.
8:30pm: I am back in my room and I just set up camp, put on music, and get to work. This post is long enough already. And holy shit my exhaustion hits me like a ton of bricks.