James Pearl Thinks Blogging is Dead

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The Traveller's Guide to Surviving Minnesota for a Full Day

Initial note: (From the Internetz, "Travelling is the preferred spelling in British English. Traveling is the preferred spelling in American English. Whether you're talking about travelled or traveled or traveller or traveler, these same preferences still apply.")

5:54am: Wake up before the alarm. I am tired, won't lie. Was up too late last night because of the data issues. I scrape myself out of bed and take a quick shower & go.

6:15am: Walking out of the room, I go to the free breakfast area and there is nothing there. I go down to the desk and the woman has no idea that there's no breakfast, and is clueless. The guy running the restaurant says the person didn't come to work but he'll hook me up. I sit down and eat a yogurt and fruit, which seems reasonable. As mentioned yesterday, it is free bagel day and of course there's the Jimmy John's for lunch. The coffee is passable which is the important point, at least right now.

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6:45am: In the new Command Center for the day. The room is meant for 4-5 people, and we are 9 when the first call starts at 7:00. This is the next in an endless series of "do we go live?" discussions. Yesterday we did a 1:00 call then a 3:00 call, and they decided that the data was not acceptable for a go-live. So this morning, same deal, 7am comes and goes and 45 minutes later they are not ok with the data and need to push again. While this is not my functionality (mine is all passed, I am just sitting here eating grapes & mutton), I am the guy here representing. So in a sense I am fronting this ship as it floats towards the iceberg. We are going to regroup, come up with a plan, and then have another call later.

Oh yeah, the guy in charge of the data is not available until 9:00am. And the CIO is showing up at 8:45. Math.

8:30am: So the way I predicted this day would go is as follows. I told my boss this last night, that they would scrap the 8:00 go-live and in the end, decide that the data was good enough for a 1:00 go-live. As I sit in this room it gets to the verge of breaking down entirely which I think from 10k feet is not a bad thing. I think they will come back from the ledge shortly but we are at that ledge right now. Our PM is here today, which is definitely in the "tits on a bull" category but it is what it is. She is wavering between starting blankly into space like an idiot savant and walking around the room looking for people to push in front of busses.

8:50am: The CIO walks into the room with bagels. He says it feels like expectant & nervous energy. We tell him it's actually just too hot. I give them a rundown on where we are, they seem content, and leave. We eat bagels. Actually bagel bites, which in Minnesota means "bagels cut into quarters".

10:20am: I eat exactly one-fourth of one of these stupid danishes (should it be Danish?) and holy cow it is good. Must resist eating the whole plate. I only have an hour of Zwift in me tonight which won't erase an entire day of eating unhealthy-yet-mediocre food.

My boss sends me a link and asks if I want to apply for this job. I say sure. He asks for a resume and I laugh. If I were to get this position, which I won't, my boss and I would be peers.

12:05pm: We move into a room with about 10 times the area, which is not an exaggeration. As we walk out of the mini room I realize how hot it had gotten in there. We eat Jimmy John's for lunch and as I sit here a few hours later it was so unremarkable that I do not remember what I ate. My cookie reputation precedes me, as I end up with 3 different cookies on my plate. While we eat we do the call for the next go live, and one guy is pushing really, really hard against it. He is clearly afraid and he has the same mindset of someone who does nothing all semester and the night before the final, decides that it should be moved a month. I make a comment that if we push it a month, this whole routine will play out exactly the same way in a month. The project sponsor agrees, and makes a comment about kicking the can down the road. There is a bit of a standoff here against Afraid-of-Technology Man and the Project Sponsor.

I only ate 1 cookie.

12:50pm: The vote. Against all odds, one of the Managers jumps in first and says "We should go live!" The woman who is the primary user/driver of the day-to-day work agrees. Eventually they agree to 3:00. But when we try to get everyone to agree, they hem & haw and almost nobody wants to be the one to say yes, yes we will go. Frustrating. We are still up in the air.

1:47pm: The Product Sponsor says we are going live at 3. End of story. Fuck it, we're going. No more votes.

I check in for my flight home. The rest of the afternoon passes with almost no note. By 3:00 the vast majority of these techs are gone or hiding in the basement getting stoned. So this is a fairly tame event. It's almost like we lined up on 4th & 1 at the 1 yard line, and the defense just laid down.

5:15pm: I am done. I am done on so many levels. I announce that I need to leave the room after 10.5 hours of war. There are only 3 people left at this point and this marks the end of the day. The 2 people left offer to go out to dinner but I defer, because a) I have been with them all day and b) I need to hit the gym and c) I need to work more tonight. So as much as I would be open to leaving this immediate vicinity, my evening is kinda lined up for me already. I would prefer not to stay up until midnight again tonight. So I call it and bow out.

Back to the hotel, change, hit the gym, round out my 2 hours of exercise for the trip, then head over to the pool. But instead of the pool, I jump in the hot tub. I get out of the hot tub and walk around to get towels, then walk around the pool a few times just sort of wasting time. Sometimes these trips turn into an exercise in wasting time until something of use happens. Today that is the case. Each time you go on the road, the expression "something of use" is defined in a new way. This trip, it pretty much breaks down to trying to get, then keep, this lead balloon off the ground. The Zwift experiment is also something of note and the food is a very minor one. Everything else is filler.

This is not really a trip to Minneapolis, even though it technically is. This is a trip to Americana, with a Minneapolis lean. My last trip to Chicago was the same, mostly. Spending time in the city is one thing. Spending time where the people live, the normal people, this is the Americana on the outskirts of the city. That's what this is. In terms of getting much out of the actual city, Oklahoma City & St. Louis were far better trips in that regard. But this is driven a lot of times by work. This is the nature of the Go Live. You are there to punch this ball across the goal line. As such, it removes my freedom to spend much time in the city exploring.

Hotel Gyms & Clothes

Here is my process for dealing with this:

1. Jump in pool if possible. If not, shower fully clothed.
2. Showering with the clothes on only goes so far, as the smell will remain as they dry. The chlorine in the pool masks the stank better
3. After you get done, wrap them up in towels like this for about an hour:

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4. Then hang them above the AC vent, and turn the climate control fan to ON:

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7:00pm: Back in the room, somehow I am a tad behind today even though I started the day over 5 hours ahead of yesterday. Put on the radio and touch base with a few work people then shower & get ready to go back out for dinner. As "eclectic" as the World Market is, nothing is really drawing me back tonight. The coffee was eh. The dessert shop was closed. The food was fine but at its core, food court level. I take a look at the house menu and quickly decide that I am going to stay in the hotel for dinner.

Dinner is Cobb Salad.

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Dessert is chocolate lava cake. When I order it, he says, "It comes with ice cream, is that ok?" What planet is this guy from?

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This meal was perfect. Exactly what I needed. Dessert was so dense, it was kinda over the top. But whatever.

8:30pm: I am back in my room and I just set up camp, put on music, and get to work. This post is long enough already. And holy shit my exhaustion hits me like a ton of bricks.
 
Jimmy John's.
Holy shit they love that joint in Minneapolis. When I worked at Piper Jaffray a few years ago, I had to go out there a few times to HQ. when I first asked where a good lunch spot was, like 8 different people stood up and recommended it. I thought it was a step up from Subway. :shrug:
 
I'm not sure what the reluctance is to going live. I mean, the start of anything is rarely perfect, aren't there always bugs to work out. Also, to ensure quality control, anyone responsible for a mistake should be fired or not allowed to get dessert.

Let me know if guys need a new PM.
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Random thoughts about Jimmy John's:

I do like it.... even tho it is a step up from Subway. I recommend the Vito with hot peppers. You can get it with a lettuce wrap instead of bread which is equally delicious.

I usually only go to Jimmy John's here at work. It's across the street so it's awesome for when I need something fast or don't feel like going too far because of crappy weather.

The guys there are really nice. I just hate the way some of the delivery guys ride their bikes (like wrong way on a one way)... I want to give them the league of american bicyclists' book on how to ride safely.

That is all.

p.s. how else are you supposed to eat chocolate lava cake? without vanilla ice cream is just SAVAGERY!
 
The Travellllllller's Guide to GTFOO Minnnnnesota

Sorry yesterday's post was so long. I find that this medium allows me to vent the various frustrations on the day. Thanks for listening. Also: Only 8 months until Xmas, if you're keeping track.

5:40am: Wake up, shower, pack. Packing is enjoyable since it represents the beginning of the end. I use the travel laundry bag that @Dominique got me for Xmas for the first time this morning. I dump all my clothes, work & bike, in the bag and jam it in the backpack. For whatever reason, the return pack seems more condensed than the launch pack. I am a one-pack traveler. This is 3 days plus bike clothes:

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6:00am: Eating the breakfast that was not here yesterday. It's actually decent. The eggs are not instant, which is a huge win. They also have blackberries, which I slaughter. That is my breakfast, coffee/eggs/blackberries. I avoid extra bread when on the road. As I sit here drinking my coffee, the local news is on. There was just a story about a goat and dog that escaped home together and were walking down the highway, side-by-side. I love the simplicity of these areas sometimes. I wonder what the goat's name was.

6:45am: We are now sitting in the Command Center, which is back to the sardine can from yesterday. But today we have 3-4 of us depending on the time of the day. I got downstairs to get a coffee and grab 2 pounds of coffee beans.

Then the day explodes like any go-live should. This is what I came for. I feel like Luke Skywalker with the blindfold on, but there's like 20 of those Floating Laser Orbs in the room, shooting me in the loins. I swing wildly and hit many of them by sheer luck. Keep swinging, you'll get there.

10:42am: I am looking at the phone when my United boarding pass pops up on my home screen. I am literally filled with joy at this.

11:55am: We out.

12:50pm: Sitting in the airport grabbing lunch, the highlight of which is rosemary french fries. Uber driver conversation was pretty good today. TSA was really easy. Once again, my coffee beans flag me and my bag gets pulled out for a search. I hope @seanrunnette appreciates this abuse I go through. On that note, I'll see him tomorrow morning along with Jalapeño captain Andrew, who I reached out to about Amateur Hour-gate. Looking forward to real life flooding back in after this week.

2:00pm: Flight is delayed. Newark traffic is delayed. I walk back towards TSA and buy .17 pounds of dark chocolate, which is what this square weighs. Rocky Mountain Chocolate. Very good!

3:05pm: Sitting in the plane, which is mostly empty. I have the whole row to myself which is pretty much true for the second half of the plane. This just goes as evidence to my contention that most people come to Minnesota and shoot themselves, and thus never fly back out. At least not in the seats. Maybe they're frozen below.

The wifi doesn't work. And frankly I'm not that into The Martian Chronicles. It is a collection of short stories which I think I may have read before. They almost seem familiar. I'm not really a short story kinda guy.

Eventually the WiFi comes on, and I do some work to grind out the flight home. I have become one of those overconfident assholes who just makes code changes and tests directly in prod on days like this.

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7:45pm: Home. My boys are happy to see me.

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Ok, another trip in the books. Off to Toronto in 2 days.
 
Why would coffee beans flag you to have TSA search your bags? Are you only allowed like 3 oz of beans in your carry on?
 
P.s. there's two scenes I always think of when I'm in the airport: opening credit scene of The Graduate and the vibrating luggage scene in fight club. You seem to spend a lot of time in the airport. Which scene is more accurate?
 
People hide stuff in coffee beans. The smell masks it so the dogs can't smell the bombs.
Ohhhhh... Seriously?

Man, I'd be a terrible bomber. The baddies would give me all these bags of coffee and all I'd think about is how hyped up on caffeine I'd be.
 
Just catching up here...wasn't today supposed to be NICA podcast with Ken?
 
Thursday

Today I drove to @seanrunnette and we did a podcast with Andrew of Jalapeno. His mom had laid out pastries for us to eat before the recording. It was cute.

Tomorrow we go to Toronto. I'm excited to get out of this work tornado.

Otherwise I worked far more than I had planned today. But I am trying to make this long weekend as work-free (ha ha) as possible. I'll talk to you on the other side of the border.

PS. This does not count as an actual blog.
 
Toronto - Day 1 (Friday)

The latest adventure in Where in the World is... began on Friday, when we checked into terminal B at EWR and lined up to hop on a Porter plane bound for Billy Bishop Airport in Toronto. This would be the 3rd flight in 5 days for me, but this one was by choice with no work involved, aside from the usual pesky fires that flare up from time to time every day. We got through the TSA line in no time, which is a bonus at B because it's international, which means far fewer people. Another bonus is that with Porter, they let you bounce to whatever flight you want with no charge. So our 11:10 flight got bumped up to the 10:30 flight, and we were on the runway in Toronto by 11:40, through customs, and in the lobby before noon.

First stop is lunch, Soufi's. It's a Syrian restaurant I had seen in a NY Times article about Syrian food in Toronto. I'd forgotten about it but when the word "lunch" came up she suggested it and it turned out to be about a mile walk from the airport, so we hoofed it and let the guy behind the counter guide us to lunch. Even though @jShort commented on our quesadillas, these are a different direction - albeit a Middle Eastern version of the same. Food was excellent, great start to the day. Add in that it was 60 degrees and it was a great day for walking.

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We walked a bit in search of espresso and whatever else we could find. When I saw the name of this shop, I had to stop in here. The cup was excellent and I picked up Monday's gift for @seanrunnette. He'll be coming to the house along with @KenS to record a podcast before we ride CR Monday

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Quick detour through Kensington Market which is an old relic from D's memory banks from when she used to live here. In the end, it's really a hood where hippies & tourists hang out, and it's something that is probably cool at 20 but less so at 40. Overwhelming amount of food & drink places here, neither of which we were in search of. Ended up then walking back to the hotel and checking in around 3:00 or so, grabbing some tea/coffee, and relaxing in the room. Not too much of note but we had been walking for the better part of 3 hours, which is something we enjoy doing when we're on trips like this.

Out of the hotel we stop to get D some new shoes, then walk to her old college friend Karen's house, which is 1.5 miles from where we are. We've been here before, just over 2 years ago but have not seen them since. Since we were here last they created an additional human and their family of 3 is now a family of 4. We talk a bit then leave the kids with the sitter and head to dinner around the corner. Karen is a total foodie so we know we are in capable hands here. As much as we like to eat & take pics, she is orbitals higher than we are in that regard. Or at least used to be. The kids kinda slow that down a little bit.

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Dinner was at Pinky's Ca Phe which is a sort of Vietnamese tapas place, but not like "get a bowl of Pho and go". We split 6 things between us and while the food was good, the company was equally as enjoyable. Karen & Jordan are good people. Conversation was enjoyable. The evening was really nice.

Food orgy pics:

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Went back to Karen's for a little then walked back to the hotel and grabbed a pint of ice cream to split between us. Long yet enjoyable day, lots of walking, lots of good food, good company. Add it all up and it's a great way to kick off a long weekend.

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Total walking on the day: 11 miles according to D's Apple watch.
 
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