Raritan 911: Robocop

Carson said:
In stark contrast to Jimmy's softer "policing in blazers", tonight I arrested a rather overweight guy on a traffic stop for some minor warrants out of a small agency in Burlington County. They wanted to take him into custody but couldn't spare the manpower for the hour-plus drive. We had a full shift so I agreed to meet them in Trenton for the hand-off and save them some time.

I quickly realized that one set of handcuffs wasn't going to cut it for my guy unless I separated his shoulder first. I called over another officer to link two sets of handcuffs together since it would be a bit of a ride for him. Another senior officer showed up. He's retiring next year and I never noticed his handcuffs before. Such a salty old veteran! I'm taking these out of his locker when he retires!

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Can't you use your chain tool to extend those to fit? Great use for old chains.
 
stb222 said:
I want to hear the follow up story to the emergency room tech that had to deal with the dildo-in-butt.
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My wife has told me these stories....This is like a fun and interesting day. They have a regular come in to her ER who enjoys swallowing light bulbs.

Carson said:
He was issued a summons and transported against his will to the hospital for evaluation and detox.
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Nicely played...You ever want to get back at a drunken asshole...Just drop them off at an ER...preferably a busy one with people who are actually sick.

Step 1: how responsive is this person test? Unless your are blacked out drunk, one of these should make you scream
Step 2: Doesnt look like its safe for this guy to be walking to the bathroom....Lets shove a tube in his cock hole
Step 3: are you under 21? cool, we'll get in touch with your parents and let them know you are here and safe....naked other than this diaper we put you in so you dont piss or shit in our bed.
Step 3a: should you shit yourself in our bed, prepare to be taken to the chemical shower and power washed
Step 4: I suppose if we gave you an IV of fluids you would wake up feeling glorious...but, wheres the lesson in that? No you will wake up with the worst hangover in history and then realize there is a tube coming out of your dick.
Step 5: hope you have insurance

DONT go to the ER if your drunk....On the other hand....that drunken shit head you invited to your party who puked all over your house...he MUST get to the ER asap....tell them he wont stop pissing himself...then leave.
 
UtahJoe said:
My wife has told me these stories....This is like a fun and interesting day. They have a regular come in to her ER who enjoys swallowing light bulbs.



Nicely played...You ever want to get back at a drunken asshole...Just drop them off at an ER...preferably a busy one with people who are actually sick.

Step 1: how responsive is this person test? Unless your are blacked out drunk, one of these should make you scream
Step 2: Doesnt look like its safe for this guy to be walking to the bathroom....Lets shove a tube in his cock hole
Step 3: are you under 21? cool, we'll get in touch with your parents and let them know you are here and safe....naked other than this diaper we put you in so you dont piss or shit in our bed.
Step 3a: should you shit yourself in our bed, prepare to be taken to the chemical shower and power washed
Step 4: I suppose if we gave you an IV of fluids you would wake up feeling glorious...but, wheres the lesson in that? No you will wake up with the worst hangover in history and then realize there is a tube coming out of your dick.
Step 5: hope you have insurance

DONT go to the ER if your drunk....On the other hand....that drunken shit head you invited to your party who puked all over your house...he MUST get to the ER asap....tell them he wont stop pissing himself...then leave.
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If that guy puts a light bulb in his ass, LMK.

Sternum rubs are awesome. Been using that old standby since working as an EMT at Bucknell. It works best on skinny white girls.
 
@Carson
Do you guys ticket cars with handicapped tags parked in regular spots when there are handicapped spots available?
Asking for a friend.
 
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