Raritan 911: Robocop

We have three young guys on our squad now, all with less than two years of experience. One of them, Officer Z, stopped a car and called me over for assistance. He's usually pretty self sufficient, so if he calls, he's got something. He also trusts me a little too much. I arrive and he's sitting in his patrol car. I walk up to his window.

Me: What you got?
Z: I think this guy is drunk.
Me: Did you get him out and do balance tests?
Z: Well that's the thing. He's a paraplegic and uses a wheelchair. The vehicle has hand controls.
Me: Is it a motorized wheelchair or a manual one?
Z: What's the difference?
Me: You asked for my help. I'm trying to help.
Z: It's manual. It's folded up in the back seat.
Me: Well you need to have him get out and roll in a straight line for you.
Z: Are you fucking serious?
Me: If it was motorized, they always roll straight because of the motor and gearing. With a manual chair, he controls it, so we can test him.
Z: No way, I'm not doing that.
Me: So you'll let him drive away and kill a family of four?
Z: No but having him roll in a straight line doesn't prove anything.
Me: Have a better idea?
Z: No, I guess not. Alright. (exits the patrol car and starts walking towards the vehicle he stopped)
Me: Jesus Christ I'm kidding!!! Get back here!!!
 
Officer Z did not agree on the 10/10. Until coffee later on. Then he could laugh.

I did the coordination tests you do for an intoxicated boater. You can't do the walk-and-turn on a rocking boat, either. Adapt and overcome, bitches.
 
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davidcarson48 said:
We have three young guys on our squad now, all with less than two years of experience. One of them, Officer Z, stopped a car and called me over for assistance. He's usually pretty self sufficient, so if he calls, he's got something. He also trusts me a little too much. I arrive and he's sitting in his patrol car. I walk up to his window.

Me: What you got?
Z: I think this guy is drunk.
Me: Did you get him out and do balance tests?
Z: Well that's the thing. He's a paraplegic and uses a wheelchair. The vehicle has hand controls.
Me: Is it a motorized wheelchair or a manual one?
Z: What's the difference?
Me: You asked for my help. I'm trying to help.
Z: It's manual. It's folded up in the back seat.
Me: Well you need to have him get out and roll in a straight line for you.
Z: Are you fucking serious?
Me: If it was motorized, they always roll straight because of the motor and gearing. With a manual chair, he controls it, so we can test him.
Z: No way, I'm not doing that.
Me: So you'll let him drive away and kill a family of four?
Z: No but having him roll in a straight line doesn't prove anything.
Me: Have a better idea?
Z: No, I guess not. Alright. (exits the patrol car and starts walking towards the vehicle he stopped)
Me: Jesus Christ I'm kidding!!! Get back here!!!
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normclap.gif
 
rick81721 said:
I don't get it. So you put him in a boat to test him?
Click to expand...

Yes, and this is what happened:

BOAT-ON-LAND.jpg
 
Works every time, nothing better than convincing your buddy to do something then giving them a beating for it immediately after. Too bad this one couldn't go that far!
 
If you start linking these stories to real life people, I can only imagine this thread will have to die.
 
Norm said:
If you start linking these stories to real life people, I can only imagine this thread will have to die.
Click to expand...

This.

Feel free to check the press releases, but do not repost them here. Also, some of these stories are new and some are recalled from the past. So you ain't going to be able to do detective work on them all, sons.

@qclabrat, I'd appreciate it if you edit your post and pull out the italics.
 
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