I'm off next week!!
Raritan 911: Robocop
- Thread starter Carson
- Start date
I'm off next week!!
Two quickies for the weekend.
RAGU
At shift change, the oncoming shift gets briefed about the day's events that might require follow-up or whatnot. But it's also a time for sharing funny stories.
A dayshift officer responded to a pedestrian struck by a car in the Walmart parking lot. While getting hit by a car is never good, in a parking lot most times it's fairly minor. A few scrapes and bruises or maybe a broken bone. But you never know until you get there.
As the officer arrived, she saw an elderly woman on the ground in front of a car. She got out of her patrol car and approached the scene and saw (what she believed to be) blood all over the ground next to the woman. The officer's pulse began to race as it might have been much more serious than she anticipated. She started talking to the woman on the ground, half expecting no response. The woman was calm, cool, and relaxed and had only a minor complaint of leg pain. Doesn't make sense.
After a few more questions, the officer noticed a shopping bag that also had this blood-like substance oozing out of it. Turns out the woman had bought a big jar of spaghetti sauce that broke when she got hit by the car. No blood, just Ragu. Crisis averted.
MILLENNIALS
During academy training, there is obviously some hands-on training. Handcuffing, defensive tactics, weapons retention, groundfighting, etc. I remember going home bruised and sore for days, maybe weeks, on end. To me, it was expected and I was encouraged by what I was learning. It's not often you get to beat up on other people without consequences.
Our department is looking to hire another officer or two. Generally, after an initial interview, if things look positive, a detective will conduct a background investigation. Friends, family, and co-workers are interviewed. Neighbors are called. Police departments in the area of where the potential-hire grew up are called. The usual.
So this kid was interviewed last week and all looked good. A detective started his background. The detective's first call was to the academy at which he received his training. Turns out, one of the instructors had some info. During defensive tactics training at the academy, the instructor received a call from this recruit's mother. She complained that the training was too intense for her son and that the instructor had "assaulted" her precious baby boy. Her bubble boy.
Fortunately, the potential-hire lied to the detective about another very minor matter and he won't be getting hired. He and I would not have gotten along.
Also, now whenever one of the newer officers is bitching about something, I tell them to have their mother call the Chief and complain.
Kids...
RAGU
At shift change, the oncoming shift gets briefed about the day's events that might require follow-up or whatnot. But it's also a time for sharing funny stories.
A dayshift officer responded to a pedestrian struck by a car in the Walmart parking lot. While getting hit by a car is never good, in a parking lot most times it's fairly minor. A few scrapes and bruises or maybe a broken bone. But you never know until you get there.
As the officer arrived, she saw an elderly woman on the ground in front of a car. She got out of her patrol car and approached the scene and saw (what she believed to be) blood all over the ground next to the woman. The officer's pulse began to race as it might have been much more serious than she anticipated. She started talking to the woman on the ground, half expecting no response. The woman was calm, cool, and relaxed and had only a minor complaint of leg pain. Doesn't make sense.
After a few more questions, the officer noticed a shopping bag that also had this blood-like substance oozing out of it. Turns out the woman had bought a big jar of spaghetti sauce that broke when she got hit by the car. No blood, just Ragu. Crisis averted.
MILLENNIALS
During academy training, there is obviously some hands-on training. Handcuffing, defensive tactics, weapons retention, groundfighting, etc. I remember going home bruised and sore for days, maybe weeks, on end. To me, it was expected and I was encouraged by what I was learning. It's not often you get to beat up on other people without consequences.
Our department is looking to hire another officer or two. Generally, after an initial interview, if things look positive, a detective will conduct a background investigation. Friends, family, and co-workers are interviewed. Neighbors are called. Police departments in the area of where the potential-hire grew up are called. The usual.
So this kid was interviewed last week and all looked good. A detective started his background. The detective's first call was to the academy at which he received his training. Turns out, one of the instructors had some info. During defensive tactics training at the academy, the instructor received a call from this recruit's mother. She complained that the training was too intense for her son and that the instructor had "assaulted" her precious baby boy. Her bubble boy.
Fortunately, the potential-hire lied to the detective about another very minor matter and he won't be getting hired. He and I would not have gotten along.
Also, now whenever one of the newer officers is bitching about something, I tell them to have their mother call the Chief and complain.
Kids...
huffster
Well-Known Member
Funny stuff.
I'd hate to think that the Mommy in scenario 2 might have done this without the son knowing...thus costing him a career opportunity. Maybe all he did was walk down the hallway in his house with his shirt off and she decided to make a stupid phone-call unbeknownst to him. Or maybe he boo-hoo'd to his Mommy.
These days I feel like you have some soft kids, partly due to over-coddling Mommy's. When I look back I think either my Mom had no idea all the crap I was getting into or she just thought that a little adversity might build some character...probably both. But, back then discipline was delivered with a wooden-paddle or a leather belt.
I'd hate to think that the Mommy in scenario 2 might have done this without the son knowing...thus costing him a career opportunity. Maybe all he did was walk down the hallway in his house with his shirt off and she decided to make a stupid phone-call unbeknownst to him. Or maybe he boo-hoo'd to his Mommy.
These days I feel like you have some soft kids, partly due to over-coddling Mommy's. When I look back I think either my Mom had no idea all the crap I was getting into or she just thought that a little adversity might build some character...probably both. But, back then discipline was delivered with a wooden-paddle or a leather belt.
my wife works in "fraud" - theft of service, theft of property, theft by deception, theft because stupid.
she interviews people, and tells them straight up. I'll give you a chance to look over your application, and correct anything that may be mis-stated (like your current salary, or degree)
you wouldn't believe how many people lie on their resume - going to work in a fraud group. these are people which require unquestioned ethics. they regularly have to pull offers because of this.
good stuff.
Just the sauce ma'am.
she interviews people, and tells them straight up. I'll give you a chance to look over your application, and correct anything that may be mis-stated (like your current salary, or degree)
you wouldn't believe how many people lie on their resume - going to work in a fraud group. these are people which require unquestioned ethics. they regularly have to pull offers because of this.
good stuff.
Just the sauce ma'am.
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Hopefully she's hiring in 5 years when I need to find a real job.
that will be right around when she is retiring. start working on your cyber security degree/certification.
i should have been a forensic accountant for the fbi. "freeze, and keep your hands away from the keyboard" - this has sitcom written all over it.
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look at the new "urban developers" (gentrification) like ironstate in hoboken. i bet they have a ton of security problems they don't even know about.
shouldn't you be a consultant for procedural matters in drug arrests? for both sides of course. best practice training for the police, and if best practices weren't used for defense?
seems you like that stuff.
potential owner inspection - gets $250 to have dealer come down $1,000 because of swirls and gaps. This is brilliant!
Red Mosquito
Formerly RLB the Scrapple Boy
"I had to change the oil, but I forgot my ramps at home...."
Aren't you trained to tip your pinky finger in and have a taste to verify it is not blood?
EJphotos
Well-Known Member
Would be hard to differentiate Ragu from blood. Ragu is gross. lol
serviceguy
Well-Known Member
This really happened to me. I came out of my apartment in the morning to go to work and found a car slammed into mine, abandoned, no driver nor witness, nothing. I call the local police and when the police officer arrived he asked me "where were you when this happened?" my reply was "I was sleeping...in my bedroom, up there!" . Turns out a mentally ill patient got drunk, stole his sister's car and proceeded to crash it into mine in the middle of the night only to get out of the car and leave. He was later found sleeping it off in a field not far from the scene.
Parked cars get hit often. I just don't know how the laws of physics allow the striking car to scoop the parked car. Boggles my simple mind. I hope to see it live one day.
Then set them both on fire??
rick81721
Lothar
Hey that's my license plate on CJIS line! Why are some all caps - the top line partially cut off looks interesting.