Wielding Jehovah's Cyclocross Battleaxe

D says I need to add more pics in my posts.

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That is day 1. Here are the 2 possible reasons my number is flying off:

1. I'm that GD fast
2. I ran into the pole in sand pit #4 and it ripped off

I'll let you, the reader, choose which reality to believe.

Baltimore

I've had a really good meal in Baltimore once with Eric O and his father-in-law. It was in Fells Point and D was at some work dinner so we went to a place Eric had found and it was really solid. Good beer, good food, good company, add 'em up and you have good times. Otherwise, I think everything in the Inner Harbor is 100% unthrilling in terms of food.

I don't really care for it there, mainly for the reasons you list, STB. Go in any direction and it falls apart fast. I feel like this place has enough people to make plenty of crime but not enough people to warrant the police necessary to stop it. As such, you have this overpopulated burg where people crime the shit out of each other. I used crime as a verb there, I know.

Driving down 40 to go back to 95 - this is like a highlight reel of why you don't want to be there. On Sunday we made the decision to take 83-81-78 home, and we got it done in 3:15, which included 1 stop for gas & drinks. This in contrast to the unknown of shore traffic on the NJ Turnpike seems like a total win.

Clark's Science Project

There may be something to the idea that I should blow shit up in the beginning and try to claw my way to hold serve as long as I can. Part of me hesitates to do this for some sort of self-preservation reason. I want to try and avoid melting down entirely. But I think this is a remnant of the last year or so where I knew I didn't have the fitness to recover if I went past a certain point. I think I'm getting to the point where I recover much better so maybe it's high time to push the limits.

I mean, what's the worse that can happen?

The real question would be, lap 1 or lap 2? Or does it not matter? I don't know the answer though I suspect that most would say that it's better to not let people get away and expect them to come back later. Maybe I'll try this Sunday if I show up to Westwood, which I'm sort of thinking to do this weekend.

Barriers

Thanks Pearl. I feel like I've finally graduated to Not Suck in terms of my barriers now. I partly credit Allah for this. And Eric O for some pointers. I think there were a few things about cadence going through them that really made sense this year. That as well as the single leg mental approach.

I also think having you all there parked at the barrier gave me motivation.

On that note, I noticed Andrew R jumped back on his bike and both legs swung forward this weekend. It made me laugh a little.

Questions I Cannot Answer Yet

It is strange that one of my better results from 2 years ago was when I blew my chain on the start chute of Nittany then ended up catching so much of the class after having to run it. Still, I feel like starting slow and catching people is a recipe for only doing so well. I mean, right now, maybe it doesn't make a difference but I hope to someday be battling for more than 45th place. At that point, I'm not going to be able to start slow and make it up.

Or...maybe I can? Maybe that's just how I need to roll? Still, I don't think I'm putting things all together just yet. I have some power data that paints an interesting story of the 2 races. I'll get to that tomorrow.

There's probably something to be said about assessing the course and knowing what I'm up against. I don't think Saturday mattered much because I was dumping into the stairs. I was going to anchor anyway. On a side note, last week was a rest week so I hadn't ridden at all on Wed/Thu/Fri. That may have had something to do with the poor start. That and having worked out in the yard cutting down trees for 6 hours every day last week.

Other Questions

Am I meeting expectations? No, not my own. But like Pearl, I'm beating the Internet. So I guess I have to take that for what it's worth. So far I'm 4-0 this year. As long as I keep outperforming my expectations I guess that's progress. But of course I'm not happy with that. I want to do better.

Am I settling for results given your effort? Not really. I'm just making peace with reality. I'm still going out there yesterday and then today riding a total of 4.5 hours with an average power of 250w trying to burn calories and get stronger. I don't know that I can just say "ok I give up" as much as it would be easier to forgo racing and get fat & old and drink beer and eat cheese. As appealing as that sounds in some way, I'm not going to be happy with myself if I do that.

Well Robin looked a bit more spent after Nittany but I think I get your point. I look more like Robin I think, less like Heckler/Carbone. Like Pearl, I'm typically a guy who does not wear his pain on his face. Kirt is sort of the opposite. So no matter how much my RPE scale is trying to go to 11 I usualy don't look it. Maybe I need to froth at the mouth more for effect?

I'm propped up in bed and my butt is not comfortable so I'm just going to hit Submit and be done with this.

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You dun went right through my hometown on I-83. I don't miss it there. I guess that way makes sense due to the lack of bottlenecks and pretty much always free flowing traffic.
 
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Party time, says Iggy.

After race 1 I do what I always do and said screw it and drank beer. We started in the hotel then went to dinner where we met SRAM Eric the Red Paulsen. I had a few beers and he had a fist full of bourbon. Then we talked too loud and people started to look at us. Like Pearl said, maybe we were a little out of the typical MTBNJ comfort zone. But really we were in the dregs of Timonium so how did we know the place would be so nice?

Then I had 1 more beer at the hotel, bringing my total to 6. Historically I do better on day 2 and I do better when I drink after day 1. This has pretty much been the case for the last 3 seasons. But I admit that after 6 beers I was wondering if I was really just trying to push the envelope to have a built-in excuse. D asked me that today, and the answer is probably yes. In a way, it's more fun to say screw it and toss a few back. In another way I know deep down that I can't possibly be helping myself do better by drinking this much the night before a race.

So party on I did.

The next morning rolls around and I feel moderately ok. Like the day before, I had to inhale 4 coffees just to feel normal. I have been drinking far too much caffeine and this weekend it really showed. I felt like I was in a daze all weekend until I had the 4th coffee. As the weekend wound down, I decided I needed to get off that Haley's Comet of Caffeine.

I am in the 3rd row again. Today I line up behind Dan Larino who is behind Roger the Super Sandbagger. The gun goes off and unlike yesterday, I have starting power today. Dan is going too slow so I jump around him and I'm in the mix. By my estimate, I'm probably sitting in 20th.

I end in 47th, which later becomes 46th. My streak of doing better on day 2 comes to an end. This is probably for obvious reasons. And this despite my averaging half a mile an hour faster today. I go half a mile an hour faster, I do worse. Pearl does the same, he does like 15 spots better. I don't really get it.

But apparently I rock at barriers now, even in black & white.

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I think the most puzzling thing about all of this is that my power numbers are really solid. On day 1, the metrics I've been collecting over the season were through the roof. I saw more short term burst power than I had seen almost the first 2 races combined. My HR is up there, and I know I'm pushing solidly like I used to. Sunday was a bit off on all of those, but still all the power numbers were higher than Nittany.

This leads me to conclude that I really need to get less fat. I guess this is obvious but you know, I have to do all these science experiments and maths to prove that losing 20 pounds would probably be the difference in coming in 46th versus coming in 25th, which is only 2 minutes in front of where I am, 20 seconds a lap.

I suppose we all know this. But I need to go through these exercises and come to the cold, hard conclusion that this is what I need to do if I want to be in the front of the envelope and not the back of it. The Envelope of Mediocrity, that is.

So that's my weekend. I don't really have any awesome in-race commentary for this one. I started strong then got passed 1 by 1. I was not a rock in a stream, it just happened the old-fashioned way. Guys just tracked me down and passed me. Angelo passed me probably a bit like I passed him the day before.

In the end, this is what I am and what I have. Cross Results says that this day 2 race was worse than both my Charm races last year, which I find hard to believe. But as we all know, the Internet never lies. Also on that note, I beat the Internet prediction again, and at the end of the day my cross score went down another 30 points, so I have that to hang my hat on. You know, that and $3 gets me a cup of coffee somewhere or other.

I want to race Westwood this weekend, but I'm not 100% sure I'm going to do that. I have started this week with 6.5+ hours of hard work on the bike. I'm also weaning myself off caffeine in both coffee & tea form. I'm just gonna keep on keeping on. And at the end of the day, shit will work out, or it won't. Either way, I say shoot 'em all and let god sort it all out.
 
just want you to know you got me 11 points in my Fantasy Cross League last weekend.

as for the coming races,

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Those peeps standing at the barrier seem thoroughly unimpressed with your barrier technique. I mean they aren't even paying attention.

Edit. Isn't it a major party foul that the leader of the team isn't wearing the current kit? UCI does not approved.
 
Like Charles Barkley says, I am not a role model. The team is free to wear whatever they please. This, of course, has its limits in terms of racing in a kit that proclaims white supremacy or NAMBLA pride. Neither really fit the mojo of the team and if anyone were to done such a kit I would ask them to race naked instead of that. That is, iffn they wanted to remain on the team. Non-team members are free to do whatever they like, though I will not support the aforementioned transgressions in any way, shape, or form.

I might also say that it makes sense to race cross in the kits that are not the latest & greatest. For years I have worn the crappiest stuff because cross destroys gear. In the past I have always worn the oldest O&B duds, especially if it's muddy out.

Or I can be real and say that I dislike the fit of the Somerville stuff. So instead, I wore 1 of my 2 favorite jerseys on Saturday and my number ripped off. And this ripped a hole in 1 of my 2 favorite jerseys, which means I now have 1 favorite jersey at this point. I would love to support the new kit design but I feel like it makes me look further from my ideal weight than I do in the old kits. Pearl says I look more pro in the new kit but I think this is his way of just being nice.

As Martin notices with his comment about the bar tape, I just don't care about images. Or maybe, I so care about image that I go out of my way to pretend I don't care about image. I'm not exactly sure what the protocol is for someone who cares about images but doesn't want to show that he cares about images. I would like to be on the cover of GQ one day. As such, I will buy an issue of the magazine and sit on it, face up.

You're doing it wrong. This Facebook headline now makes me want to throw things, almost on a daily basis. Shortly behind that is "11 things you didn't know about ...". Facebook has become the epitome of IT'S AMAZING, the catchphrase of all overnight infomercials known by insomniacs from coast to coast. And yet, I persist. And digress.

I don't have much of anything to say tonight but D sent me an article recently about how people who write are happier & healthier. Or maybe just healthier. Or maybe flat-out miserable, I forget. In any event, I feel like I used to write more & better, so screw it, I'm going to try to write more just because I want to sit down and do it. I think it beats reading the endless series of IT'S AMAZING posts I find myself reading every day.

I digress. I think I am at my best when I digress. I did not ride my bike today but boy I am tired. I just flew in from Cleveland and boy are my arms...ok, never mind. I took today off because it was raining and the man who was once made of iron and waterproof Teflon is now made of sugar & spice. That, plus 5 hard rides in a row made me super unmotivated to go ride in the rain. Plus the kids were off and my (not actual but de facto) in laws were here today. So it seemed like a good day to stick around the house and not do much of anything pedaling related.

After cross season I think I want to start running on a limited basis. I will deny ever having made that statement in the future.

I got a new Evo frame and this one is not broken yet. I started moving the parts from the old un-awesome frame to the new, as yet unbroken frame. I have ordered another tool to make this easier. Utah told me to buy it. So I bought it. Did I mention I glued my own tubulars and they have not rolled? Shit. Shit. Why did I say that?

D got her first flat of the year on Tuesday. She kicked ass this past weekend, having the 2 best races in her short cx racing career. Did I mention this yesterday? Saturday was her best race by a lot. She came in 20th, did really awesome. Very proud of her and her sticking to it. Probably she was happier with the win at Lewis Morris this summer but I think this is right up there. I'm sure Utah will tell her she needs to upgrade and race Helen Wyman before the end of the week.

I am so less interested in racing Westood with the rain today. That place drains as well as a bucket with no holes in it.

And why is Jake on Facebook without an MTBNJ jersey? First he's got a b-line to Joe Montana and doesn't wear the colors and now this? I'm happy I got you 11 points, because that's what all awesome amplifiers go to. Are you going to the picnic? We'll be there, all 5 of us.

The problem with writing stream of consciousness is that by the time you need to think of the next thing to write you forgot what it was you were going to write 10 minutes ago. Oh, I think I was going to say something about the writing and the health aspect of it. I seem to end up with more stress than is probably good for me. Have I mentioned that we're putting in a septic tank? I'm going to give you a rough idea what it's like to try and get a permit for this, based on the experience I've had this week:

*phone rings*
Moron #1: Hello, this is...ah, where do I work?
Me: Warren Board of Health?
Moron #1: Or right, let me transfer you there.
Moron #2: Hello, this is movie phone.
Me: So I need a permit for...
Moron #2: Sorry sir I just shit my pants, I'm leaving now
*phone goes dead*

This is my summary of the week I've had dealing with these mental rejects. We have a hole that's the size of a football field (not really) in the back yard and all we need is a GD piece of paper saying it's ok to have a hole in the ground. Have we gone too far when we're not even allowed to dig a hole in our own yard without paying the town for it? I'm surprised we don't have a tax on shitting.

I intended to go the whole week without drinking but failed tonight. So it goes, my friends. So it goes.

Oh right, more pictures.

Seriously, doesn't Obama look like he's thinking, "WTF are you talking about, man?"

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sometimes I feel like life is life, no matter what you do... so you might as well drink your coffee and beer..... because hey, everything else may suck, but at least you have your coffee and beer.

drunk in lbi.. this is day 5 of my family vacation.
 
Don't stop writing - I really enjoy READING your posts. I often think "wow, he writes really well...I wish I had that talent". I have major insecurities about writing - I've never enjoyed it, always struggled with it, and when a TA told me my senior year at Rutgers "how did you get this far in school writing this horribly", it has forever stayed with me. So I "try" to write, even if its not as funny or whitty as your posts.

I agree with the kits - I wore my new ones to CX practice and put a snag in the leg. So I now wear our old ones for pretty much everything unless it's race day. Funny how we have "favorites".

As for FB - with my new schedule/classes, I don't go on social media as much - and when I do, I'm more on Instagram or Twitter. I'll check FB occasionally, but it often irritates me. And yet I go back. Sigh.

Wow - this must be my longest post in a very long time. Good thing I the cats woke me up early this morning!
 
You and I look like the Dalai Lama in our kits. Folds and material uurywhere. It also looks like the Dalai's right arm is all bruised up from shouldering the bike.
 
yes, no stopado the rightado.

I appreciate you honesty with the new kits bascially coming down to how you look in the kit. Yet while cross may be hard on kits, isn't mtb'ing just as hard but insert branches and prickers to cause the snags? Is assumed better breath-ability with the new kits compared to the old worth the less durable fabrics?

I just hope the brand manager of the team never analyzes the kit selection on any given weekend.
 
the look is more like "dammit why aren't these chairs another two feet apart because this dude's breath stank"

great song from my younger-hood "you lie, and your breath stink"

infectious grooves i think.


i debate closing off my FB account on a daily basis. now i just kinda leave it there. i only check one group regularly that i'm a member of "fun with internetting" - it's a closed group an old friend of mine created. its essentially a place to repost stuff on 4chan and reddit. but its funny and i can view it at work.
 
I read an article on those "click bait" headlines a while ago - the psychology behind them is interesting. Of course, they're all designed around a simple premise made profitable in the advent of meta-data - generate clicks any way possible. But the amount of research that went into creating headlines to maximize clicks is pretty staggering. The Onion even has a satire site called "Clickhole" dedicated to them. Some of their stuff is pretty funny.
 
good food for thought.

on writing. i enjoy doing recaps of my races and different adventures. I always hated writing in school. but i think now it really does help me kind of decompress after an event, and i can usually learn something instead of just moving on to the next thing in life.

on kits. delicate kits suck. the kits we get from Rev3 for adventure racing are beautifully made tri kits. their purpose is to look flashy with shaved legs and have pictures taken of you with blurry backgrounds. instead, we are bushwhacking through the forest with them, getting snagged on every branch and thorn. its a shame.. I like the look and fit of the kits, but they get destroyed in a normal race season.
 
Please don't stop writing. I don't reply a lot, but I red all of your stuff.

stb222 said:
Yet while cross may be hard on kits, isn't mtb'ing just as hard but insert branches and prickers to cause the snags?
Click to expand...

Dare I say I agree with Kevin here. MTB'ing is harder on the kits. That being said, it is 'cross season so we are more likely to ride through a 2 mile puddle 'o poop so I get Norm's point too.

I also enjoy writing but have found that the majority of times I am inspired to write something on the board, I end up deleting it and avoiding being controversial altogether. More often than not, I think it best to keep my opinions to myself. This is an unhealthy practice though, and further reinforces the idea that writers are happier people.
 
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